I know I'm, like, a full month behind on this particular chunk of news, but you have to understand - I was trapped in what I thought was a hurricane. I was poised to write you all a brief yet sincere apology for getting so worked up in my last post when WHOOOOOOOOOSH. I was whisked away into a nightmarish weather system. Or so I thought.
Really, I was just feeling the atmospheric and emotional effects - as we all did, really - of Michelle Duggar getting fucking knocked up again. Nineteen.
Ninteen babies. One vagine. In case you were wondering, 1 divided by 19 is .0526315. I'm no mathematician, but that basically means that ol' M. Dug only has 5% of a hoo-ha left. Wait, that's not right, is it?
Anyway. This is not really a shock. Michelle is 42, but will probably continue to spawn until the late 2100's. Here's the real shocker. I want to warn you, the images you're about to see are extremely disturbing.
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You guys. Look at her hair. What is this?? What IS THIS? Did she know all along? I don't know what to make of this.
And really, it just keeps getting better and better. Remember how their eldest oopsie-daisy is expecting a child with his newly pubescent bride? Do you also recall how they are going to name all their kids names with an M? Ladies and gentlemen, October will give you Mackynzie Renee. Yeah, that's not a typo.
So, what do you think guys? What comes out of .0526315 next? Here's hoping for Jenjamin. Or another one of these. I think .0526315 can probably squeeze one of these out during a commercial break:
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