No, this has nothing to do with Kanye. Who wants to read about that asshole anymore? Especially when there are far more worthy assholes due for primal, disgusting violation than that windbag? For instance, John Edwards.
Oh, John Edwards, where do I even begin?
Let's start from the top, shall we?
When you told your mistress you were going to marry her? A little skeezy, but ok.
On a rooftop in NYC? A bit ostentatious, but sure, you go for that, you politician, you.
With Dave Matthews Band playing? Alright, that's a little fratty douche of you, but you do that, sure (I'll bring the Ed Hardy and Affliction tuxedos).
Now here's where you get all asshole on me. After your wife dies? Of breast cancer? Cock.
That's suck a bastard move, I have no way of even explaining myself here. You know it's a cock move though. And here's how I know you know this:
Because you fucking coerced your staffer to take the fall and tell the press that the baby was his! WTF? And then, after agreeing to a paternity test, tried to find a doctor that would forge it. Class, John Edwards. Pissing 100% class.
Now, let me just say that I don't care about sex scandals. Sex scandals are a dime a dozen. People like their shit freaky. The more power they have, the more stress in the job, the freakier it gets.
I don't care if your mistress is shoving broken Coke bottles up your ass sans lube. Personally, I could give a shit (or you couldn't, due to ass shards). But when you plot, scam and lie your way out of that hole you dug for yourself, you make me hate you. And more importantly, you lose your credibility.
All those merit points you got while being that milky white, "hard working American," southern gentleman on the Kerry campaign? Gone. Your family? (should be) Gone. Your credibility as a human being with feelings and a general moral compass? Do I even have to say it?
In summation: Fail, John Edwards. Fail.
but his hair is so purty!
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